Criticism Epiphany

Feb 8, 2020

Dear Friends and Family,

Something interesting happened at the men's group recently. I mentioned I was having a hard time dealing with criticism. Just small criticism would make me turn inside, unresponsive to the outside world and be disproportionately upset towards the person who gave me the criticism. For example, earlier in the men’s group, when the leader said I had interrupted someone else, I became upset because obviously (in my mind) I was adding valuable information.

So the men's group leader said “why don't we all give you criticism. Would you be up for that?” “Sure,” I said. The ex-boxer said I preferred to be liked than get respect. The high-flying sales consultant said I let people walk over me. The carpenter who had never known his dad said I was just a vagabond and he wanted to see me settle down. The ex-oil driller who has been talking about getting a job and/or starting a coaching business for three months said I was spineless.

And then I had an epiphany.

Each of them was at least partially correct. But they were all talking about their own insecurities. I hadn’t seen the pattern until I saw all of the criticism together. That's all people are saying when they criticize you. What people criticize me for says more about them than it says about me.

(The sand dunes in Huacachina, Peru.)

Thanks for the help since the last newsletter.

Three of you reached out to create form a mastermind group. We discuss our businesses on a weekly basis and held our two meetings. Just as I thought, my friends are working on such interesting projects!

In the world we live in now I’m starting to believe that it is less important to plan than to optimize for serendipity.

Real sustainability?

I was talking with a dear friend recently who is going to study sustainability and design. The same problem that has plagued design is now plaguing sustainability. Just because something looks design-y doesn’t mean it’s well designed. Just because it has a matte white finish, designed in Denmark doesn’t mean it solves a real problem.

The same for sustainability. Many acts seem sustainable but aren’t. We hear horrible news stories but the big picture might be getting better. Here are a few things I’m considering. No final verdicts yet. Feel free to respond with more detailed information than I’m aware of.

Because it takes about 10 energy calories to produce 1 food energy it is far more energy efficient to take a car than walk. Biking and driving a car are about the same.
Germany made a commitment to solar and wind and their carbon emissions… went up. Why renewable energy might not be the solution.
Despite what we hear, the entire planet is getting greener. Even Brasil, despite deforestation in some places, on net, has more forest cover now than it did 20 years ago.
Eating local doesn't make a meaningful impact on carbon emissions.
Organic farming might not be sustainable. It takes 1.5 times as much land, farming time, water, tractor usage for the same amount of food. For some crops, vastly more CO2 is released for organic agriculture than traditional agriculture. (Though there may be other benefits.)
Reusable organic cotton shopping bags need to be reused 20,000 times to be better for the environment than plastic bags. (Counterpoint here.)

Do you really want to be famous?

Famous author Tim Ferriss tweeted this week:

Tim Ferriss @tferriss

Would you like 1-5M more followers? Before you answer that, answer this: How might your life change if you -- and often your family -- had to deal with death threats, stalkers, suicide letters from fans, etc. on at least a quarterly basis? There's no free lunch with exposure.

His article on the topic was thought provoking. How much do we chase fame? And would it make us any happier? The short answer is “heck no!” In his article he goes into detail on the crazy things that “fans” have done to him.

Personal update

Long story short, my girlfriend adopted a stray cat with a broken leg. It is broken at a right angle so I didn’t see a need for taking an x-ray. Yet she and her colleague decided to get one anyways.

Yup. It’s definitely broken.

This adorable creature has brought up a lot of questions: Who should we help? Who can we help? Is it worth getting attached to the little one only to leave in 2 months? Is it worth spending $1,000 on surgery to fix the paw? We can’t help all stray cats so why help this one in particular?

Yet, seeing my girlfriend fuss over the cat has been a delight and pushed those philosophical questions away. When we first took the cat in it was too afraid to come out from behind the bed. Now it plays, chasing it’s own tail and even learned to purr.

I don’t know what the lesson is. We now suspect the cat is pregnant. Another chapter.

Which reminds me of a parable

A boy is gifted a horse. The villagers say “How lucky!” The father says “Maybe not.”

The boy falls off the horse and breaks his arm. The villagers say “How unlucky!” The father says “Maybe not.”

The village goes to war and all able bodied males leave to fight but the boy can’t. The villagers say “How lucky!” The father says “Maybe not.”

Friend Spotlight

When I asked in my last newsletter if there was anyone who wanted to create an entrepreneur mastermind group Ignacio was the first to respond “I’m IN!” He owns perhaps the largest collection of Salvador Dali art (300+ pieces) in Latin America and is aiming to create a permanent Museum for those pieces. If you are in Buenos Aires check out his exhibit. We met while he was on a road trip from Alaska to Buenos Aires and we shipped our vehicles together across the Darien Gap in Panama.